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IGNITE the Beginning

Okay…Here. We. Gooo!! We have pumped ourselves up for the upcoming Girls on the Run season! We have our supplies, curriculum, and motivation from the season kick off. Our to-do list has been completed. Check! Check! Check! Supplies are separated, ready for practice. Pinwheel is checked and updated, ready for practice. Notes for Lesson 1 have been written, ready for practice. The mental checklist of a GOTR coach at the beginning of the season is long and extensive. It feels overwhelming and exciting and dreadful and fantastic and … all of the things, at any given moment. Our goal this season is to give ourselves grace as all of our feelings coexist with each other and we rock out this season!

Joyful tears. Subtly excited. Silent rage. Regretfully happy. It feels awkward to experience two opposite feelings at the same time. Here is an example: I have always loved Fall time. I love the changing colors of the landscape. I love the warm clothes and blankets that make me want to cuddle. I love the smell of burning wood in a fire pit. I love the soups and chilis and … my list of loves is long. During this time I also feel exhaustion, anxiety, and overwhelm. Exhausted from children’s sports, anxious as the days get shorter, overwhelmed from the balancing act of holding all of it together. There are days I wonder, “It is the most perfect Fall day, why do I not want to enjoy and embrace it?” I’m learning to let all feelings coexist. I can be happy and anxious. I can love and dislike the same thing at the same time. I can feel calm and overwhelmed. Any range of feelings can all be felt simultaneously. It is called … ambivalence.

According to Wikipedia (September 17, 2024), ambivalence is the experience of having an attitude towards someone or something that contains both positively and negatively valenced components. Experiencing opposing feelings at the same time can propel your emotions into hyperdrive causing a sense of overwhelm. High-stress energy blocks our ability to regulate conflicting emotions, causing us to feel more overwhelmed with emotion fatigue. At the beginning of every new season we experience ambivalence. We experience the excitement of having new girls on our team or a new coach to share the responsibilities. We experience the anxiety of reaching out to parents or preparing for our first lessons. So many mixed emotions will hit us at the beginning of the season as we prepare to be the best version of ourselves for our GOTR team. Let’s keep it simple in the ways that we give ourselves grace for all of these emotions we are experiencing.

A few simple strategies are all we need to bring our best selves to the practice. Four simple check-ins to regulate the ambivalence within ourselves. Mental Health America lists a few that can be done 5 minutes before a practice, right before sleep, or as we drive.

We can look up a list of feeling words and highlight all the words that we connect with in the moment. Notice what we are feeling, give it the space it needs. Then we can decide how to manage the feelings and care for them.
Journaling our thoughts helps to organize the brain with all the feelings we are experiencing, especially when we are overwhelmed with multiple feelings at the same time. A great way to start is to finish the sentence, “I am feeling ____” or “Today was ____.” Let the pen do the rest!
We can take a few minutes to rest in the present moment. Grounding ourselves during moments we feel overwhelmed helps to calm the brain and body from responding to the chaos within us. Controlling our breath (breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, repeat), walking with bare feet in the grass, stretching our body, and listening to a meditation will calm the nervous system and gift our brain a break that it needs.
Prioritizing self-care is important. Gift the time to love on ourselves. A few minutes of self-love rewards the brain and body for all the amazing things it does each day. Put a little love in our life!

The beginning of a GOTR season can feel overwhelming. We are adding in a routine that was not there last week. We are adding in a team of new people that were not in our life a week ago. Let’s keep it simple, give ourselves the grace we need, and allow all feelings to coexist. When managed and cared for, our feelings will move us forward into better versions of ourselves. Embrace the ambivalence!

Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Greater Kansas City. Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs. She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches in every challenge and celebration. Connect with her for support and assistance this season via call, text, or email. shaylaaranda@gmail.com | 816-284-9770

RESOURCE LIST TO EMPOWER THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SEASON: