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IGNITE Your Limits

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IGNITE Your Limits

By Shayla A

It is human nature to have pet peeves. We all have annoyances whether it is at work with colleagues, at home with family members, on commute with strangers…. The list goes on for ways other humans can really get under our skin. There are times in coaching where our pet peeves can alter the energy of a practice. In this episode of IGNITE, we are going to discuss how to navigate the rough waters of acknowledging our limits with pet peeves.

The first step, is deciding what are your pet peeves? According to vocabulary.com, a pet peeve is, an opportunity for complaint that is seldom missed (read Mar. 11, 2025). It is an annoyance that we cannot help talking about to others. It is a small action, behavior, or words that can turn a great mood into an irritated mood. It is something that annoys you but may not bother other people in the same way. There are links to how people handle their pet peeves and the happiness they feel in their relationships. If pet peeves aren’t addressed, it can cause connection to be lost in your relationships. It can cause hurt feelings and blame that lowers a person’s happiness with themselves and with others.

Let’s discuss ways to utilize our pet peeves to navigate new relationships we build with our team, with our coaches, with the girls’ caregivers, and with the school that will make our season successful. The first step is acknowledging the pet peeve and how it affects you. This pet peeve is similar to a limit- a speed limit. Journey with me a bit. You are driving along at highway speed and come upon construction and all fast traveling comes to a very slow pace. Our excited mood for the journey is now thrown out the window and we are irritated. A pet peeve slows down our good flowing energy. The limit we put on others change our mental course of joy, fun, and excitement. Acknowledge the limit you hit- someone interrupting discussions, someone clicking their pen, girls being picked up too early from practice, tardiness, whining- pick your limit. Now, study how it affects you.

Where do you feel the annoyance in your body? Where do you tend to rub or touch when you’ve hit your limit? Do you rub the back of your neck? Do you wring your hands together? Do you rub your temples? How do you self-soothe the pet peeve? Does the self-soothing calm the nervous system? Can you take a breather and continue with the practice or does it affect how you show up for your team? The struggle with limits is that they affect our mood and mental state. They shift the course you are trying to run to get to the finish line or end of practice. They shift your relationship with the person(s) because they sense and see the annoyance and blame themselves. Or, you internally blame them and distance yourself. A perfect example of this- I have a pet peeve with girls being picked up too early from practice. I would become so annoyed sometimes that I would intentionally stay away from the parents and then it would boil inside of me, changing my mood for the girls and coaches still present. Let’s discuss ways to navigate through the pet peeves towards a successful practice and season.

Studies show that happy people tend to complain less than others. Happy people have fewer negative thoughts about the world around them. Expressing your complaints to someone who can help will make you less sensitive to the pet peeve. Back to my example- I asked another coach, who loved talking with parents, to address the early pick up situations. This calmed my nervous system because the issue was being addressed in a kind way (and not in my annoyed way). This also allowed the opportunity for me to hear the parent’s side from a third party, allowing me to be less defensive and annoyed. I realized I could relate to them and understood they were trying to get home after a long day or their parents were coming into town. I was then able to give some grace, calm my nerves, and handle the annoyance with more understanding. This also allowed me the opportunity to share the importance of every minute in our practices with the understanding that the parent’s time is just as important. Acceptance and help with our pet peeves lead to successful practices and seasons.

Acknowledge, accept, and adjust. Acknowledge the pet peeve. Recognize that it is there causing a hindrance to your relationships. Accept that it is an annoyance that will always cause some level of uncomfortableness. Adjust your reaction and your thought process with it. Ask for help from someone who can change the situation towards more success. Someone who can empower you with your pet peeve. Acknowledge. Accept. Adjust. It all leads to an amazing practice and season with growth and understanding of ourselves and others. It all leads to a season full of successes!

Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Greater Kansas City. Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs. She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches in every challenge and celebration. Connect with her for support and assistance this season via call, text, or email. shaylaaranda@gmail.com | 816-284-9770

RESOURCE LIST TO IGNITE YOUR NAVIGATION OF YOUR LIMITS: