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IGNITE Our Inner Friendship

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IGNITE Our Inner Friendship

By Shayla A

“IGNITE Our Inner Self” was last week’s episode. We discussed how to connect with our inner self through our emotions and self-talk. We make better choices, keep better mental health practices, and see our true power and wisdom. Building positive and empowering connections with ourself is the foundation to positive and empowering relationships with others. How do we build a better friendship with ourself? How do we become a better best friend to ourself? In this week’s episode of IGNITE, we will reach our goals by igniting our inner friendship and being our own best friend.

IGNITE our inner friend. Ignite our inner friendship. Research shows that having friendships increase the longevity of our life. Research on brain reactivity also tells us that having healthy friendships change the way our bodies respond to stress. The smallest friendly interaction with the QuikTrip clerk every time we get gas, changes brain patterns and strengthens our confidence. The casual conversation with the person who is also waiting for their special coffee drink, changes our body chemistry and lowers cortisol levels. That brief interaction alters our mood and shifts our brain patterns, leading us to better mental health and physical well-being. Let’s explore the possibilities if we were to become more than an acquaintance to ourself and be the type of friend we deserve to have in our life. We will use two mantras:

BE your own best friend. What does that look like? Create a list of friendship “boosters” to serve as a resource when feeling sad, disappointed, lonely, or uncomfortable. Make this a list that gets added to and taken away from as life challenges ebb and flow. Coffee dates, happy hours, book clubs, football parties are ways we spend time with our friends. What are ways to spend time with ourself as a friend? It could look like a coffee date with a journal in hand. It could look like a glass of wine and an old favorite book. However we like to spend time with friends is the best place to start when spending time with ourself. Choose activities that fill your bucket and thoughts that fuel your soul. Recognize all your efforts and celebrate them- even the ones that seem too small or insignificant. Sometimes when it is difficult to celebrate small accomplishments, we may need to evaluate the expectations we have of ourself. Communicate realistic and positive expectations to your inner self just like a friend reminds us of boundaries we need to keep. Be the best friend that we long for, seek out, and keep. Be the best friend that our thoughts, feelings, and inner self need to conquer the enemy.
We are our own worst enemy. We know what this looks like, but do we realize how damaging it is to our mental and physical health? Similar to the ways toxic relationships with others affect our well-being, so does a toxic relationship with ourselves. We bully ourselves with negative self-talk and toxic behaviors. We self-sabotage in situations to keep us in a comfort zone that is undesirable and unhealthy. Make a list of friendship “breakers.” What are words and behaviors that we would say, “Heck no!” to someone if he/she said or did towards us? If we consistently heard out loud from someone else the negative thoughts we say to ourself, we would no longer talk to or associate with that other someone. So, why should we listen to that “someone” in our thoughts- they are not our best friend, they are our enemy. They are “testing” the true friendship. They are testing the strength and endurance of our best friendship- the one we have with ourself.

Be the best friend our inner self needs to accept and accomplish life challenges. Be the best friend our inner self needs to build and grow dreams. Spend quality time, celebrate mountains climbed, and defeat the enemy with our best friend- our true self! The best friend that reminds us of all the hard things we do currently, have done in the past, and will do in the future. In a future that holds the best version of ourselves. In a space that holds our best friendship- our inner friendship. Stay kind. Be loving. Change our world!

Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Greater Kansas City. Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs. She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches in every challenge and celebration. Connect with her for support and assistance this season via call, text, or email. shaylaaranda@gmail.com | 816-284-9770

RESOURCE LIST TO IGNITE OUR INNER FRIENDSHIP: