It is important to share emotions and feelings, whether they are comfortable or uncomfortable. Emotions are felt in our body as sensations. Our thoughts about those emotions are our feelings. In this episode of IGNITE we will discuss in further detail how to acknowledge our own emotions. We will also discuss how to empower your team of girls to acknowledge and share their emotions in a healthy way that benefits them, their team, and beyond the GOTR practice.
Emotions go deeper than feelings. Emotions involve the cognitive and physiological space within you that changes. They are automatic and unconscious. They can be controllable and uncontrollable. They can send you on a roller coaster ride or swaying in the breeze on a hammock. Emotions are the specific mental reactions that cause changes inside of you to occur based on certain events. Our feelings are how we perceive the sensations that occur in our body because of our emotions. We are excited for an upcoming event and we feel energized. Our excitement is our emotion and energized is our feeling. A great way to acknowledge our feelings is to ask yourself, “What sensation am I feeling in my body?” You can feel excited, but take it deeper than that to recognize the cause of the emotion. By recognizing the cause of the emotion that is tied to a past experience, you will be better equipped to react and feel in a way that allows you to open up to someone else about your needs. You will deepen your relationships by acknowledging what makes you happy, sad, fearful, worried, content, and the list goes on.
The importance of sharing feelings in a healthy way is instrumental in developing and keeping healthy relationships. With your team of girls it is best to model how to share your emotions and feelings. Create a space that says, “It is okay to share who we are and how we feel.” Give girls the framework for sharing emotions and feelings. Ask them to pay attention to the sensations their body is having to recognize the emotions they are feeling. For example, utilize the body scan technique where you close your eyes and check in with certain body parts (brain, jaw, heart, stomach, gut, feet, etc.). The body scan technique is good practice for when you are in the midst of an emotion or feeling. This helps to recognize the sensation that a certain emotion is giving us. For some, feeling anxious is felt in the stomach with stomach pains or in the head with headaches. For some, feeling happy is felt in the heart with warmth or in the arms with hugs. When you check in with the girls about how they are feeling, ask them where they are feeling that sensation. Then take it a step further by giving them this statement to share with others about how they are feeling and how the other person/people can support them. The statement, “I feel ____ because _____. I would like _____” is extremely powerful in recognizing your feeling, acknowledging your feeling out loud, and asking for a connection. To encourage the safe space you are creating for your team, use this statement throughout practices. Examples include: “I feel confident because we did our warm-up exercises. I would like to do one more so I am ready for my laps.” “I feel irritated because I didn’t get enough sleep. I would like to do a little extra stretching to wake my brain up.” Add WHERE you feel the feeling to empower the girls to acknowledge their emotions and feelings. For example: “I feel peaceful in my heart because the sun is shining. I would like to do our laps in the sun and not the shade.” This type of practice helps us build healthy boundaries and relationships with those around us.
As an amazing coach, you have the space and energy to bring girls together as a team. Understanding and sharing our own emotions and feelings in a healthy way is one of the best gifts we can give our young girls. It will promote positive feelings and space even for uncomfortable feelings and situations. We have the power to empower our space with their emotions, feelings, safety, and confidence!
Shayla A is the Coach Mentor for Girls on the Run Kansas City. Her background comes from the classroom, coaching, day treatment schools, wellness, and advocating for children with special needs. She enjoys empowering and advocating for girls and coaches in every challenge and celebration. Connect with her for support and assistance this season via Leigh Krtec.
BOOK LIST TO ENCOURAGE SHARING OUR FEELINGS:
Leading With Emotional Courage by Peter Bregman
Untangle Your Emotions by Jennie Allen
My Body Sends a Signal by Natalie Maguire
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
TO WATCH A VIDEO ON HOW TO IGNITE YOUR SHARE SPACE FOR EMOTIONS: